I would like to share some thoughts that I had during some
correspondence with an old friend over the issues of ‘breaking free’ or ‘crossing
over’, an issue which I have repeatedly touched on in this blog.
The key point of our conversation was that, although there
are certainly forces outside of us that influence our decisions, we always have
a choice. As it says in Deuteronomy, “I set before you a blessing and a curse,
live and death; choose life, so that you may live”. The Israelites definitely
had a lot going against them, but they chose to not only break free from Egypt,
but also break out of the wilderness. Out of Egypt, they had to cross over the
Red Sea, but out of the wilderness, they had to cross over the Jordan, which is
of course a symbol of Christ, who came to give us life, and life abundantly.
They couldn't do very much about getting out of Egypt before they did – it was
a completely divine act, a sort of healing experience. But they definitely
spent more time wandering around in the wilderness than they needed; they chose
death, the curse, rather than live, the blessing. Yes, in Numbers they came
across giants and what have you that made it difficult to rely on God’s
promise. Nevertheless, the 40-year wandering was a pointless, completely
self-imposed ordeal.
One concept that I think is useful here is that of ‘Sheol’,
something which the Lord gave me some insight on a few years ago, and on which
I have a number of posts. In Jewish spirituality, Sheol (which crops up in the
Bible a lot) is a dark underworld - not Hades (i.e. Hell), the fiery pit, but
rather a gloomy place that you can actually 'get stuck in' during your life on
earth - a sort of worldly hell. It is almost like an endless labyrinth from
which it impossible to escape – that is, without Christ. In Corinthians, when
Paul says "O death, where is your victory, O Death, where is your sting?”,
he is quoting a passage in Hosea, wherein one of the ‘deaths’ that he quotes is
actually “Sheol”. So, Christ delivers us not only from death (Hades), which is
our default destination thanks to original sin, but also from this perhaps even
more insidious death-in-life (Sheol), which we impose on ourselves. It’s
important to note that this applies to all Christians who live contently with
idols, who never desire to go deeper with God, and so on – all of those people
are imposing an inferior version of life on themselves.
A key characteristic of Sheol is dependency. Although we may
loathe the thing, and want more than anything else to exit it, we cling to it
because it gives us a security, and we know that we will be vulnerable once we
let go – there will be a missing void in who we are. In other words, we are
addicted to it. Of course, the “shelter of the Most High” is infinitely more
secure, and only there will we find the life that will fill that void. But it
is a different kind of security: although it gives us the ultimate certainty of all of His promises, it actually
entails a lot more uncertainty in our
day-to-day lives. In other words, it requires us to let go of trying to control
everything (or letting some other person do so) and let Him take control. This is reflected in the story of the Israelites in the
wilderness. At several points they yearned to be back in Egypt – at least there
they had some security of food and water (indeed, by creating and worshipping
the Golden Calf, they were basically trying to re-create the conditions of
Egypt). In the wilderness, they were supplied with “daily bread” from Heaven.
They were not allowed to store it up – to try to control everything – but rather
had to trust that God would supply them the next day. So, they were fully
dependent on God, rather than dependent on their abusive Egyptian masters. But
paradoxically this was more of a challenge because it actually required them to
choose to yield to God, in contrast
to Egypt, where they were forced to do so. This is the mysterious relationship
that we have with God – we have to surrender our will, but we also have to
exercise our will to do that – a feat that is only possible thanks to Christ’s
intervention, his initial act of love through which we also love (1 John 4:19).
Another image relevant here is that although the Jordan was
a much smaller body of water than the Red Sea, it was much harder for the
Hebrews to cross. Why? I think, because of the “direction” in which fear was
pulling them in each case. With the Red Sea, the fear was what they were
running away from (namely the chariots of Pharaoh). With the Jordan, on the
other hand, what they feared was on the other side. In other words, they had to
willingly face their fears, rather than simply be saved by a divine act. Again,
this revealed that mysterious relationship – it is both his action AND our
reaction that matter. His perfect love casts out our fear, but a loving
relationship ‘takes two to tango’. Ultimately, though we love because He first
loved us (1 John 4:19 again). So, when we are crossing the much smaller Jordan
out of the wilderness, we can always remember how He delivered us from the much
greater Red Sea and the slavery of Egypt, and trust that His promises (His
covenant, if you will – another symbol of the bilateral relationship) are
fulfilled in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20).
An important distinction should be made here. On the one
hand, we need to be fully dependent on Christ. In many cases, however, this
will mean being very independent from
everything – and even everyone – else. Obviously, we should be in a community
of friends, family, believers, etc., mutually reinforcing each other and
carrying each other's burdens. But the Bible is quite clear that even married
couples, members of a family, etc. should not be dependent on each other more
than they are each dependent on Christ (e.g. Matthew 10:37). So, as our
relationship of dependency on God develops over time, there is actually a lot
of personal development that occurs at the same time. This is not surprising
given that Christ is in us through
His Spirit, so our relationship with Christ is (in this sense anyway) an
internal one. Christ is actually the best example of this – He completely
yielded His will to that of the Father, and yet yet (or rather, and so) from
the point of view of other people, He completely went against the mould of the
world.